It's gray outside.
I'm gray too, which I shouldn't be, because I'm getting married, right?
I'm missing the Captain something terrible. I'm going to see him the week of Valentines, but that seems so far away. I feel like a lovesick puppy.
All I want to do is wedding planning stuff or rearranging my rooms, closets, and house to accommodate another person moving in. I look at pictures of flowers, dresses, cakes, candles, etc. I write it all down in my big wedding planner book, which is my trusty old Daytimer from back in the 1990s. I love that book, even if it does weigh five pounds. I love making lists and organizing things. I resent having to do anything else lately. Like work. Next week I'll be in a 40 hour conference call. I swear, it's really going to be 40 hours. Normally it would be a departmental conference that my team would all travel to the corporate campus for, but since travel is restricted at our company due to budget concerns this year, we're doing the whole thing via the internet.
40 f***ing hours tied to the desk and computer with a web cam and audio headset that's not even wireless. Good god.
I know. Get a real problem, right?
I think I need to go walking today. I think I might take my i-pod and walk through the dead trees, leaves, and gray skies a bit. Listen to some piano music. Brood my way through this.