Speedos are never acceptable...and other rules for manly dressing

Today the Captain came downstairs in a Hawaiian shirt with plaid shorts.

Heh :)

I love him. I'd rather he need my style advice instead of him knowing more about fashion and style than a woman.

I did start laughing my ass off and promptly told him, "No," to which he went back up and came down in a white Panama Jack style shirt. Much better. However, I was smacked on the ass for still chuckling while making breakfast, although I do love men's clothing, and he knows I have more style than him. At one point in my past career, I used to advise executives on dressing for meetings and presentations.

Hawaiian shirts are back in style again, however men should know there are rules for wearing them, especially men over the age of 35.


- Do buy at least one size too large. The looseness adds to the casual and cool effect.
- Do wear them with sandals or flip-flops.
- Do wear them with subdued, solid color shorts, such as light khaki.
- Do wear them with shorts or slacks made of summer weight material.
- If you're going to wear it loud, then wear it proud.

- Don't ever tuck them in, even if you are Thomas Magnum.
- Don't wear them with a necktie.
- Don't wear them with a blazer, even if the current men's magazines say it's ok this season. It's not. It never is.
- Don't wear a shirt with matching pants or shorts.
- Don't wear them with denim. It's too stiff.
- Don't wear them with socks. Ever.
- Don't wear a matching shirt with your spouse.
- And don't mix Hawaiian prints with plaids.



(P.S. - That picture is not the Captain ;-)

Come Dancing

My Lady Chatelaine has often said she felt she was born too late. I too am nostalgic for things before my time. The post war years (WWII) seem so full of glamour as seen through my five year old eyes. By the time I could drive, the local malt shoppe was gone, replaced by Golden Arches. The dance palaces were ancient history.

So, LC looks to me to find pieces of what she missed. And me? I have this Ray Davies song and a fantasy that I will be able to dance in a romantic way that was giving way to the Twist when I was six.

Come Dancing / The Kinks

They put a parking lot on a piece of land
When the supermarket used to stand.
Before that they put up a bowling alley
On the site that used to be the local palais.
Thats where the big bands used to come and play.
My sister went there on a saturday.

Come dancing,
All her boyfriends used to come and call.
Why not come dancing, its only natural?

Another saturday, another date.
She would be ready but shes always make them wait.
In the hallway, in anticipation,
He didnt know the night would end up in frustration.
Hed end up blowing all his wages for the week
All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek.

Come dancing,
Thats how they did it when I was just a kid,
And when they said come dancing,
My sister always did.

My sister should have come in a midnight,
And my mum would always sit up and wait.
It always ended up in a big row
When my sister used to get home late.

Out of my window I can see them in the moonlight,
Two silhouettes saying goodnight by the garden gate
.

The day they knocked down the palais
My sister stood and cried.
The day they knocked down the palais
Part of my childhood died, just died.

Now Im grown up and playing in a band,
And theres a car park where the palais used to stand.
My sisters married and she lives on an estate.
Her daughters go out, now its her turn to wait.
She knows they get away with things she never could,
But if I asked her I wonder if she would,

Come dancing,
Come on sister, have yourself a ball.
Dont be afraid to come dancing,
Its only natural.

Come dancing,
Just like the palais on a saturday.
And all her friends will come dancing
Where the big bands used to play.

Limericks "R" Us

Since May 2007, I have been involved in a grand project that is attempting to rewrite the dictionary, giving every word a definition in the form of a limerick. Although we have over 55,000 approved limericks, the going is slow. Going through words alphabetically, currently we are working on words starting with A through Dh. The project is called The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form or OEDILF.

Since my Lady Chatelaine mentioned my limerick writing in an earlier posting, I thought I would share a few of my more political efforts. An enbolded word is the word being defined in the limerick.


Your faith in Obama's delusive
'Cause your grasp of the facts is elusive.
He's expanding the war,
And he spends three times more
Than George Bush who was power abusive.

He audaciously promised us hope,
With his voluble claims and grand scope.
B. O.'s smooth as can be
With his charlatanry,
But how long with this fraud can we cope?


B.O. loves his own voice, that is clear.
Spouting platitudes, calming our fear.
Demagogism can't
Solve our problems. We shan't
Spend our way out of bankruptcy, hear?


And finally, as a general warning against where we are headed:


As prescribed by the communist creed,
When rewards are based solely on need,
Then from each per ability
Breeds sloth and futility.
The motive is gone to succeed.


Click on the title if you can't get enough of five-lined poetry in anapest meter.
The Cap'n

The Reason Behind The Auto Industry Bailouts.

From Michael Nesmith's Elephant Parts circa 1981:



"We're not just hoping you're dumb, America. We're banking on it!

If I have to be a chard, then make me Cakebread

I liked this quiz. It made me think of my friend The Wine Commonsewer, except the quiz didn't offer California as a choice in its question about which wine region I'd like to tour. Probably written by a wannabe wine snob who thinks "serious wine lovers" are supposed to sneer at California.

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?