Sometimes it all seems like it's going to turn out very nicely....

    ...like when I'm sitting here at the kitchen counter, sipping a glass of wine, writing some thank-you notes, loving the way a gift looks in my kitchen or something. And a certain piece of music comes on the reception music playlist that I'm testing out, and the leaves are falling outside.... and I imagine what a nice moment it will be when that song plays at the reception, and when I see the Captain smile at me over some cake, and us knowing that we are married.

Amid all the rushing around and very un-romantic errands and chores this week, sometimes there are moments when I'm struck once again with how nice it's all going to be and how happy we are.

Wedding Day Weather

Right now, weather.com is saying sunny and 59 degrees for the big day!

I wish I had gotten that fur wrap I saw a few weeks ago. Not real fur of course, but I was looking for taffeta or chiffon wedding dress wraps, and I kept finding the prettiest fur ones, but I figured it wouldn't be near that cold.

Guess I was wrong. Wish I had sprung for it now.

Oh well.

But sunny and 59! Wheeee!

Lovely Fall Day

The Captain and I just went and did the marriage license thing at the county court house. We have to wait three days before we get the document, though. They have that waiting period thing in Mississippi.

Then we went to the garden center because it's such a gorgeous day - sunny, breezy, and 65 degrees - so I decided I wanted some pumpkins for the front porch. We got four or five picked out, then I heard someone else asking to get some potting soil bags loaded into their truck. That made me think I might need some too, so the Captain asked for some to be put in our vehicle as well. I had to rearrange some things in the back, though, because the seats were already lying down and the back was still pretty full up with wedding things I bought the other day.

While I was at it, I went ahead and purchased some more mums, since I was there and they were only $3.99.

The Captain was like, "Where is this all going to fit?... When we left the house, you said we didn't need to clean the SUV out because you weren't going to buy anything."

Hmmmph!

I told him he should just be glad that I'm a simple girl and get excited about a new flower, some gourds, and a couple of dirt bags, instead of designer handbags and big, flashy jewelry.

I love Fall :-)

Time

I would like to apologize on behalf of the Captain and myself for not being around much lately. Not being around much at all, actually. The days are running short till that big day. I don't understand it. We're having a small wedding, simple, not fussy, yet it still takes an enormous amount of doing and planning. Or maybe it's just me. But either way, we're stuck with it all, and forging forward.

Here's the schedule for this week.

Monday - dental appointment for me

Tuesday - engagement photos for the newspaper announcement

Wednesday - pick up his suit from the tailor, pick up the wedding rings from the jeweler, meet with the manager and reserve the hotel where we're having a super-secret dinner for our closest wine buddies, and then spending our first night as a married couple.

Thursday - meet with the coordinator at the church for final arrangements

Friday - blood test and marriage license


Crazy, huh?

So please, forgive us for not being around to write anything or comment and talk on your own blogs right now. I'm sure that after the wedding, we'll be settled down, back to normal, and able to read in a more focused manner. Perhaps we might be able to even before the wedding.... because you know...I can feel it building up in me where I might just throw my hands in the air real soon and just say "F it all!"

This Week I Have....

- Driven to Nashville and back in the same day to pick up the Captain at the airport. (Southwest Air doesn't fly into Memphis.)

- Taken my Mom to the doctor for her injection and blood tests.

- Had a pre-marriage counseling session with the church pastor, in which the Captain told the pastor he figured sexual relations was near the top of my marriage importance list. I nearly socked him right there.

- Assisted the Captain with rescuing a one-eyed momma cat and her four near death kittens from the crawlspace attic of my grandmother's house.

- Took the kitties and my nephew's pit bull to the shelter. Said nephew is in rehab, and his wife is in jail. Don't ask. My Mom and Dad are very hurt and disappointed.

- Hosted my sister and sister-in-law for dinner last night to go over wedding reception food and plans.

- Made a blueberry cake.

- Made lemon cheesecake snacks.

- Made chicken salad.

- Had a crown put on a 12 year molar tooth where the filling had cracked.

- Done seemingly endless dishes and laundry.

Good news is today is the official start of the college football season. Go Rebels! Hotty Toddy!

It's Over!

August is over! Today is September 1st!

I start getting in Fall mode as soon as August is done and gone. Even though it's still in the 80s around here, I'm just like a squirrel, gathering my Fall things, decorations, recipes, blankets, and all that homey stuff.

And I've got a Fall wedding this year too, you know, so that's kicking into full gear now. The invitations were mailed yesterday. It's official. I'm really and truly getting married. We can't back out now. My parents would kill me if they had to tell all their friends it was just a false alarm.

I ain't sceert, though. I ain't running.

Do you have any idea how many pumpkins I'll be purchasing this year? I'm going to need about 25 or 30 just for the wedding reception. Gonna line the walkway with them.

And isn't this cool?

New Yankee Candle Scent - Moonlight Harvest

I bet that smells so yummy.

I think looking at my new Fall magazines and recipe books has gotten me a bit excited. Of course, the end of August always makes me happy.

My sisters are coming over one night this week to go over reception plans and food recipes. And the Captain is coming home tonight! I think I'll make him a blueberry cake.

Oh, and college football starts this weekend. Hotty Toddy!

Trying to Just Do It

I'm feeling pulled in a dozen different directions these days. I want to finish unpacking the Captain's moving boxes for him. I'd like to spend a lot of time with my Mom, because she's really sick and feeling bad right now. And I need to do some house cleaning. And I need to find a job. The lead I had at my former company fell through. They are not going to fill that open position after all. I guess 17 billion in debt is sort of scaring them a bit, and fourth quarter is just around the corner.

But what I really need to do is get down to some of this wedding stuff, however I find myself procrastinating on it.

I think that worried the Captain a bit, when I first told him. But it's not that I don't want to get married. Not that at all. That's the best part of my life right now. But I think I wish I could just put on some jeans and an ivory sweater and stand up at the church that way. I really don't want a bunch of pictures made, and photographers are so expensive when it comes to weddings. I just want a dozen shots at most, I think.

OK. I'm getting the invitations done today. Completed. Done and mailed out. I swear it.

Just as soon as I drink a little more coffee and finish watching Rocky III.

Wedding Update

My dress has arrived at the boutique! I have an appointment next week to have it fitted and tailored.

The invitations are here, but they won't go out until middle of August.

We are forgoing the catering, and instead my sister, two sisters-in-law, three nieces, and myself will be doing the reception food. We're just doing light hors d'oeuvres before the cake, so it really won't be that big of a deal. My sister(s) kept telling me that it was ridiculous to hire a caterer for such a small wedding, especially when we're all really good cooks. Besides, they said they'll do the clean up too, so that convinced me.

I've also been registering for a few gifts. We really don't need much, but my Mom and best friend said I have to register or people will be confused. So sheets, towels, a few kitchen items (like a really cool dual espresso and coffee maker), that sort of thing. What we really need are yard and garden things. I wish Lowes still did wedding registries, but they're discontinuing that as of the end of this month.

Next, I have to find some hot shoes to rock that dress.

On a side note, I really messed up my back yesterday, and now I'm pretty much immobile. I can hardly walk, and can only sit a certain way. It really hurts. Feels kind of torn and it burns. I've been taking some hydrocodone, which helps, but I really need a muscle relaxer. My right hip is higher than my left hip, and my spine is starting to kind of draw up into an "S" shape. I hate this. I can't get anything done this way. I'm just stuck   >:-(

Nightmare

Last night I dreamed that the Captain and I were late for the wedding because my SUV didn't have any wheels on it when we walked out of the house. So we had to hitch a ride to the church on a cotton trailer that was passing on the road. October is cotton picking time around here, so there are always trailers of cotton heading to the gins in the delta.

Anyway, the cotton trailer was packed so tall that in order to keep me from falling off the top, the Captain had to bury me down in the cotton, and with me in my wedding dress, he couldn't find me in all that cotton when we got to the church. He was frantic, throwing cotton onto the church lawn, searching for me, and calling my name. I remember being so scared I was going to suffocate. I kept sticking my hand in the air, but I never felt him grab it. When I woke up, I was fighting to get out from under the sheet and quilt on the bed.

My god, am I going crazy? Who dreams stuff like that???

Invitations: done!

Today we ordered the wedding invitations. We're doing a very cute little design called "seal and sends". No envelopes and all that wasteful extra paper that adds on so much cost only to end up in everyone's trashcan, except mine and my mother's. You just fold them up and stick a seal on them. I ordered the nicer gold leaf seals, though, instead of the plain white one.

That's them in the picture. I love them! They have fall leaves on them. Fall and October are my most favorite times of year.

You know....we were very tempted to get married on Halloween, which is on a Saturday this year. But there were too many important SEC football games that day. No one would even give our little wedding a second thought when Ole Miss is playing Auburn, and Georgia is playing Florida. But a Halloween wedding sure would have been fun, and what a great anniversary it would make.

So I found a dress

....and now I'm totally having second thoughts about it. I've been up since 2:30am worrying. I think this is normal, though... big decision, committing to a dress and stop looking at the rest, special order non-return, bought and paid for.... etc.

I did have an a-ha moment when I tried it on, stood in front of the platform mirror, added an off the shoulder sleeve thing, lifted the hemline, and added a veil. "Yes, this is it!" I exclaimed and sort of teared up a little. I cry so easily all the time lately, though. I think I might be stressed out. Just a bit. My stomach hurts a lot when I think too hard these days.

Is it too late to just elope to the mountains and wear my blue jeans, sweater, and some boots or something? I mentioned this to my parents, and my Dad thinks it's an excellent idea, but I thought my nearly bed-ridden Mom was going to surprise us with some gathered strength and wallop him upside the head at the very thought. Vetoed. That bill never even stood a chance.

I Gotta Get a Dress

I'm going shopping for my wedding dress today. I'm a mixture of emotional emotions. Excited, nervous, happy, anxious, and worried. I'm worried I won't find anything that looks good on me. I'm worried because I'm not one of those princess brides that wants the whole big shebang of a huge dress that costs five thousand dollars. I just want something simple, elegant, pretty, girly, and will leave us with more money to use on a honeymoon and some new things for our home.

Anyway, I'm going by myself, which I know is odd. But here's the deal. My mom is too sick to make a two hour drive and then sit upright in a chair for two hours, then drive two hours home. She's just too weak. My best friend got called for jury duty this week. My sister and sister-in-law are working, and all my other friends live in other states. Honestly, the only person I'd really like to take with me is the Captain, but he's at his boat in Washington. I trust him to be honest, gentle, and helpful with his advice. He makes me feel young and beautiful again with all his compliments. At first I used to think he was full of shit, but now....after time...I think he just really loves me.

Ok, see??? I'm sorry. I told y'all I was emotional. It's 7:30am and I'm sniveling into my coffee just from thinking about my Capain. Lately I cry over everything I see that is wedding related. At this rate, I'll be like a disaster walking down the aisle. I remember at my sister's wedding. I was the maid of honor and my brother was standing down at the altar with me as my sister came down the aisle. She was crying a lot. My brother leaned over to me and said, "I'd be crying to if I was marrying (insert brother-in-law's name here)."

Ok, that made me laugh, so I'm not crying anymore. I've got to motivate and get dressed. Can't go to an upscale bridal salon in my yoga pants and Motley Crue t-shirt. Wish me luck, y'all !

I Need a Dress

Lately, in wedding news...

April 8th is my appointment at a bridal salon to try on dresses. I'm still feeling like it's going to be a casually formal day, maybe with a nod toward something vintage in style, and definitely not over the top shiny, ostentatious, or "blingy". (I really hate that blingy word, but it definitely fits the bill with the current seemingly over the top wedding scene.) I've got a few ideas in mind, and I might even go for a tea length 1950s-ish style with a fluffy skirt...think vintage Barbie goes to a party. I really like this new designer from out in California. If I don't fall in love with anything at a salon, I just might give Dolly Couture a call and order something. With a shorter dress a girl can really rock some hot shoes. I think the shoes might be my most favorite part of the outfit.

And I've narrowed it down to two styles of invitations. I think we're again going for something traditional and not trendy or flashy. Definitely simple, with an autumn theme to it. I hate the idea of using three envelopes, two or three inserts, cards, and blotting tissue just to send an invite. And $750 for paper that is going to get thrown away by everyone but me and my mother is ridiculous. So I'm leaning towards something called seal and send. They're pretty, yet economical and practical too.

You know....I've been watching a lot of wedding shows the past few months. Most of them have been over the top, extravagant productions that are more focused on impressing and wowing people at the reception, than being about the ceremony, celebrating a new life together, or being in love. Yet the blogs, forums, and communities I've been researching and discussing with real people online are much more down to earth and realistic. I think reality is finally setting in for the wedding industry, and the trend will be turning toward smaller, more intimate, and tasteful weddings. I could be wrong, but when even the usually unrealistic fashion magazine industry is starting to give pages to Banana Republic and other affordable ready-to-wear lines, then you know the winds are shifting.

I just hope I can find a dress that looks decent on me. I'm feeling kind of old, blah, and ugly lately. Spending time around a lot of young princess girls getting married can do that to a 40-something.

The cake has been designed and ordered!

I met with the cake artist yesterday. I love that title "cake artist". That's what she is too. I provided her with some pictures of cakes I liked, looked at some pics of her designs, and then she took the elements I liked best and sketched a color picture of a cake especially for me right there on the spot. She's a very sought after cake designer in the southeast and is usually full up for the year by March. She does all the baking and designing herself, so she only does one wedding per week.

It's going to be a very autumny spice cake, with butter cream frosting, and cream cheese and hazelnut fillings. This was the main inspiration picture.



It's going to be tall! Like about 40 inches high!

Last night I had a horrible nightmare that the cake fell off the table and smashed to the hardwood floor when it was rolled out at the reception. The worst part is that I was crying my eyes out, but everyone else was laughing, even the Captain. Then to make matters worse, my dog came over and started gobbling the cake up off the floor. There I was, bawling my eyes out, and everyone was laughing hysterically!

I was so upset from that dream that I called the Captain in the middle of the night and woke him up to tell him about it. But he promised he wouldn't let my cake go smashing to the floor, and that if it did dare to happen, that he wouldn't laugh and my dog wouldn't be at the reception.

Gah! The stress!

Oh! And yay! The Captain is coming into town for a couple weeks on March 11th! Yeeee! I've missed him so much.

Look for me on the news one day

The U.S. Postal Service announced today (Tuesday) that it is raising the price of a first-class stamp to 44 cents May 11.

Forever Stamps will continue to be sold for the current 42-cent rate until the increase takes effect. The Forever Stamps will remain valid in the future regardless of rate hikes.

***********

Good grief, I almost placed an order last week at Zazzle.com for about 400 custom/personalized stamps with mine and the Captain's names on them, which only come in the 42 cents non-forever style, to use on wedding invitations, RSVP envelopes, and thank you notes.

I swear to god.... after hearing about what all this lying piece-of-so-called stimulus bill is going to do to our medical records and health care, and how the federal government is going to deny transportation funds to all states and counties that don't enforce their new law that makes brick and/or metal mailboxes illegal on public roadsides... which means that MY very nice (and expensive) brick column mailbox with wrought iron light fixture and drop box for packages inside the column has to be done away with in favor of a cheap, ugly, plastic or wooden mailbox that will fall apart instead of holding up when hit by a non-driving jerk who can't keep his car on the road.... I swear I'd have gone SO postal if I had bought those damn stamps and they were going to end up being out of date before my wedding.

Geeez! It's like we already live in 1982 Soviet Union or something!


AARRRGHHH!

I'm ready to storm Washington and raise some revolutionary hell! Where's a f***ing boat full of over taxed tea when you need one???

I love this part of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette

The Honey Do list for the groom



1. Send her flowers – for no reason.

2. Send her flowers for a reason – the 6 month anniversary of your engagement, her birthday, because it’s one week until the wedding.

3. Take her younger siblings to a movie, ball game or the circus.

4. Take her Mom and Dad to lunch.

5. Give her a half hour foot massage – once a week. (Graduate to pedicure and she’ll never ask you to take out the garbage.)

6. Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands.

7. Leave little love notes on her fridge.

8. Plan one evening a week just for the two of you – no wedding talk allowed – just romance.



I can't wait for when the Captain is here pretty much full time. He says that by the summer, he'll be here to stay and take part in the wedding plans. Never thought I'd ever hear myself say that I can't wait for summer. Not summer in Mississippi, anyway. But there it is. Love makes you crazy.

Oh well....

I have an appointment with my hair stylist today. I have dentist and eye doctor appointments this week, and an appointment with my regular doctor later this month. Seeing all the docs now in case I end up without a job and no insurance benefits.



I also have an appointment with the church event coordinator on Thursday. I'm excited about this appointment. This is where I really get to make some plans.





My trip to Washington to see the Captain next week had to be canceled due to my work requiring me to be chained to my computer for another week of certification training. And now is not the time for me to be anything less than totally on top of my job, even if it IS Valentines. So it's postponed. The Captain is in the middle of some upgrades with his house, so as soon as it's listed and ready to sell, he said he'll come here to me. I'm not happy about this. It's really kind of depressing. I don't want to get sappy, but I miss him. I need to see him. I'm like a love sick puppy, moping around the house and whining.



On the flip side, only a select few of us are being certified in this new program at work, so maybe that's good news for my job. No promises from anyone, though.




I think I might go visit the guys at my sales office after my hair salon today. See if any of them still have a job. Then maybe I'll go shopping. I feel like buying something totally girly and unnecessary. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so responsible and cautious, because I'd love to just go out and spend an unholy amount of money right now.

All You Need is Love

This is the week that I'm chained to my desk for 40 hours of training via the internet. By the time I'm finished at 6 or so each evening, I can't bear to look at a computer screen any longer, not even for fun.

Also... my company is one of the corporations that announced doomsday layoffs this week. 8000 jobs gone. I'm pretty sure my luck has run out. I can see my position being considered a luxury and not a necessity. My team of 100 people is projected to be cut by 35.

The severance package is good, and I'm sure I'll be all right if I don't make the cut. I have strong family ties, the Captain, and a support system, so I won't be on the street. There are so many people that will be worse off. I can't help but think of several of my co-workers and friends that have children and aren't as fortunate to have close-knit families like mine. I am scared for them. I am scared for their children.

But still, I do need my job, and there aren't jobs like mine to be found in Mississippi very often. Hello, Miss Laid Off and Over Qualified.

And hearing about this worthless, so-called stimulus package on the news makes me want to kick the TV in. It's not going to do a thing but spend an unbelievable amount of taxpayer dollars, fund birth control for deadbeats, give Acorn more money to stuff ballot boxes with, help Obama pay back his campaign favors from crooked politicians, and put the United States even further in debt and trouble.

On the bright side of my world, the church is now reserved and the date is official. October 17th I'll be a bride. I might be a worthless and jobless bride, but I'll be a bride. And that sends me off to sleep with a smile. I'm a very lucky girl :-)

The Perfect Wedding Reception

How much money would y'all pay me to get the Captain to do this at our wedding? Come on....I'm taking bids.

Wedding Bafflement

So lately, I've been flipping through wedding magazines and watching various wedding reality shows on TV: Weddings Central, Rich Bride Poor Bride, and even a few Bridezillas.

I am quite distressed now, and I wonder if there is something wrong with me in that I have no desire to spend the price of a fully loaded Ford F250 pick-up truck on a one day event, no matter how precious it is supposed to be.

On Rich Bride, Poor Bride, this couple spent $55,000 on their wedding. No, they didn't go over budget. 55K was their set budget. And no, they're not wealthy. She's a school teacher in Ontario, and all they said about him was that she was the breadwinner.

Also, this couple spent $30,000 on their wedding that sported a south beach and Cuban theme. Although I think this poor girl is seriously confused or something, because her husband really came off as a totally gay diva fit for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He did everything but walk down the aisle in a white dress.

All the shows are like that. Regular, everyday folk, that have to work for a living, spending tens of thousands of dollars on extravaganza type weddings. It's as if the celebrity weddings you've seen on TV and in magazines have become the norm instead of the extreme. The cake and h'ordeurves reception has been wiped out in favor of a sit down surf and turf dinner for 200 guests. And there are all kinds of new (and I think sometimes silly and odd) trends that are being done in weddings now, like wedding guest favors that are gift baskets and usually cost around 25-50 dollars a piece for each and every guest, or having cookies, cupcakes, or even Krispy Kreme donuts served to the guests as they leave the church between the ceremony and reception. And then there are the second dresses the brides are wearing at the reception. They not only spend thousands on the wedding gown, but only wear it for the ceremony, then they change into another formal dress for the reception.

I just don't understand it. And it's making me feel like my wedding is going to be laughable or something. I'm just not going to spend that kind of money. I guess my family could if I wanted them to, but I don't want to, and I'm not going to ask for it. The Captain and I would rather add a sun-room and outdoor entertaining area on to our house instead, and still have a good sum in the bank as well. Plus, you know what? Mostly I just don't like purposeful ostentatiousness. It can come across as really tacky and phony.

The Captain and I are wanting something simple and elegantly casual. I'm glad I didn't really talk about the date we had in mind, because we did have to do some re-thinking and change it. After researching the time frames needed for cake ordering, invitation printings, etc, we realized we weren't allowing enough time to plan a wedding, sell a house, and move him across the country at the same time. It just wasn't going to happen without lots of stress, frustration, and probably a few meltdowns from me.

So now we're looking at a fall wedding, which other than having to wait longer for us to be married and permanently together, I am totally in love with. The fall, specifically October, is my most favorite time of year. I've always wanted a fall wedding, with pumpkins, fall leaves, English Ivy, and burgundy and apricot roses. And our driving and exploring honeymoon will be perfect with the fall colors coming about.

We're going to get married on a fall afternoon, in a little chapel, and then probably (not firmly decided yet) have the reception across the street from the chapel, in an old early century house owned by the church, with a big front porch, lots of windows, hard wood floors, and a fireplace. Just a simple reception with cake, coffee, a few h'ordeurves, and iced tea. This is the south, you know. Iced tea is our house wine. And since we're doing this at a Baptist church, in a dry county, with my semi-tee-totaler family members, there won't be alcohol.

I know, TWC...you're probably hyper-ventilating at that, but don't despair. There will be a small dinner party in the city that night with my wino-friends before we depart on our honeymoon the next day.

But still, even though I have confidence in myself and my ideas for planning a pretty, yet conservative wedding, I would still like to be able to flip through bridal magazines and watch bridal shows that have events and people I can relate to.

I think my little wedding is going to be elegant and just lovely, no matter what those TV shows would think.

I AM going to wear a tiara, though. I already have several of them from my old pageant days, so it's really pretty natural. And this will probably be my last opportunity to take one out of the glass cabinet and wear it honestly and proudly, so I'm sure not gonna miss it.